Carter turned 13 yesterday!!!
When I started this blog I promised to share a bit of our real life outside of photography. I haven't done that much as of yet, but today this is all I can think about.
My little babe is not a babe anymore...😣 Yesterday he turned 13 and I just cannot bring myself to feel ok with this! I have to type the number 13 because the word "teen" makes me want to run and hide under my covers! We had such a great weekend celebrating him despite my wanting to bust into tears every time I heard someone say, "oh wow, I can't believe he's a teenager!" Me either guys, I honestly don't know how we got here so fast!
Disclaimer: While proof reading this before posting, I felt the need to pre clarify this. I say all of this knowing quite well these may sound like "small world problems" I am fully aware I have been utterly spoiled up until this point with the most well behaved and easy child. And I will never take that for granted but I am positive that this is the exact reason why these things are throwing me such a curve ball now.
This is such an odd time in motherhood for me, maybe that's why it's on my mind so heavy... I need my mom friends to convince me ~I'm not the only one!!~ While many things about this stage are way easier, there are so many things that are harder than any other stage in motherhood I've encountered thus far. It's like a constant state of confusion for me. I second guess so much that in his younger years I never expected to. Am I still cool? Am I still allowed to hug you in public? Do I even have a choice in what you eat? so much is changing.
Today for example, they had off school for spring break. When did it become uncool to go out and about with mom? I thought days off school consisted of going out to lunch, sneaking in a crumbl cookie with mom, or just simply doing anything that involves getting out of the house because you normally can't do that on a Monday afternoon, right?. I woke up today so excited, expecting Carter to at least want to make a Starbucks run with me... Nope! At 13, a day off school means all the guys are off too, and they can game their hearts out all day! Jokes on me!
Then there is the style.... a swear a year ago my son literally couldn't care less if his clothes even matched when walking out the door, let alone having a hoodie to perfectly compliment every pair of Jordan's (don't even get me started on this new love for sneaker.. I AM NOT READY) All I want to know is, am I the only one that never noticed how expensive mens clothing are?? Like I buy clothes for Dillon all the time but there is something about going from a kids XL sweatshirt to a mens SM that just kills a small part of your soul!! IT'S LITERALLY ONE SIZE! I use to dream of the days that Carter and I wore the same size in shoes. At least then I could stomach spending $150 on a pair of sneakers he would most likely trash, because maybe I could steal them a few times, right? Wrong again!! One Monday morning I woke up to that dream being a reality... then I swear it was Friday that same week when that ship sailed. Did we grow this fast as kids or is there something different in the water now?
Not to mention every morning I find myself peeling my eyes open to stand in the bathroom shaping the perfect curls, all the while arguing about how that one in front just isn't sitting right... guys, all I do is throw some water in his hair and swoosh the curls around a bit.. this is not rocket science, you are too cool to let me dress you or feed you but you can't seem to master how put water in your hair? Don't get me wrong here, I love that there are still things he needs me for but it's just mind boggling to figure out which things that is. It changes on a daily basis... how to we keep up?
School and sports are a whole other ball game, literally! Sports today are so much different than I remember. So much more time consuming. In 7th grade I did cheerleading and track but still had time to eat dinner at home. Carter plays one sport, Soccer. Now, he does go to a private Goal keeper trainer but that helps my mama sanity! Soccer is -at minimum- 5 days a week. umm, what? Within a matter of the last year, everything I thought this stage of motherhood was going to be completely flip flopped.
Some things are better though! I can't say it's all bad! He does confide in me so much more. Our talks are something that warm my heart, as he actually holds a full conversation and we get to work through things together. He's still the most kind hearted child I know. He's still my favorite person to hang out with. He works out with Dillon and they have this new, weird "bromance" thing going on that I totally don't understand at all but I absolutely love watching. There are finally so many things we all love to do and now that he's older, we have so much fun together. He cleans his own room, does the dishes, still says his prayers with me every night and still makes straight A's every report card. So there are totally perks to this age as well.
Ok I get it I'm rambling here, but if you're a mom reading this, you get it. As a mom your mind is never resting, you thoughts jump to one subject to another all day long. Then when you lay your head down at night all you do you remember the list of things you forgot to do that day while your mind jumped from, being a hairstylist, to being a maid, to packing lunches, to washing clothes, to making dinner to oh wait...did I shower? and if your not a mom and reading this well.... you probably think I'm totally nuts, and that's ok too cuz some days I might agree!
I think all the rambling is to say, that this is a stage of motherhood you simply cannot prepare for. Trust me I tried! Everyone tries to prepare you for the stages of becoming a mother, the newborn stage, the toddler stage, the terrible two stage. but the one they don't say anything about is the preteen/early teen stage! Why is that? Take it from me when I say all the things I mentally prepared myself for are so much different than I imagined. and if they are the same... don't worry next week they will change! 🤣 If you're a mom and can't seem to shake this same feeling my advice to you is: Give yourself grace. All of us moms with early teenage kids are going through the same thing, we are all totally and utterly confused! 🤣 Do yourself a favor, make a mom friend with kids this age (and make sure she likes wine) because there will be a ton of hilarious conversations to come as you try and navigate this weird, chaotic, hilarious, yet beautiful stage of motherhood!